Lighter fare... Christmas Song Parody Time!

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, it is the CHRISTMAS Season! Often, this place has commentary on weightier matters, but I'm in the mood for some levity. Thus, I am going to write a couple of lyrical parodies of a favorite Christmas song or two.

Now, I'm an early middle-aged man (in case you didn't know), but I've always liked the song sung by a little girl in 1953 who wanted, of all things, a hippopotamus, for Christmas. That's right, a hippopotamus. Now, me, I don't think that owning a hippopotamus would be a financial, social, or humanitarian plus for me. Also, I'm not a child; me, I want MAN kind of things for Christmas. So, without further ado, I shall present my parody of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas (sung by Gayla Peevey, 1953, for Disney)." Title of parody will follow....

I WANT A BIG-BOOBED REDHEAD GAL FOR CHRISTMAS

I want a big-boobed Redhead gal for Christmas

Only a big-boobed Redhead gal will do

No waifish blondes, or anorexic girl-boys

I want a big-boobed redhead gal to play with and enjoy

I want a big-boobed Redhead gal for Christmas

I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?

He won't have to use the dirty chimney flue

Just bring her through the front door, that's the easy thing to do!

I can see me now on Christmas Morning going back to bed

Oh what joy! Oh What surprise!

When I don't believe my eyes

and see that big-boobed woman with red head.

I want a big-boobed Redhead gal for Christmas

Only a big-boobed Redhead gal will do

No dull brunettes; nor dyed platinum tresses

I only like red-heads with big boobses

And red-heads with big boobses like me, too!!!

(fanfare from original song)

My ex says a redhead will eat no meat, but then,

buddy says a red-head is a phallitarian.

(more fanfare)

There's plenty room for her in my room, no garages

I'll oil her up and rub her down and give her a "massage."

I can see me now on Christmas Morning going back to bed

Oh what joy! Oh What surprise!

When I don't believe my eyes

and see that big-boobed woman with red head.

I want a big-boobed Redhead gal for Christmas

Only a big-boobed Redhead gal will do

No dull brunettes; nor dyed platinum tresses

I only like red-heads with big boobsesses

And red-heads with big boobses like me, too!!!