Thursday, January 26, 2006

A Plan For Dealing With Illegal Immigration

As we all know, illegal immigration is a big issue in this Republic of ours. It is also becoming an international sore spot, as the Mexican government continues to provide maps and other info to assist illegals in defying U.S. Laws. Mexican officials are even going so far as to demand, that's right, demand, that we just let these folks come in and go out as they please. Well, there have been ideas on how to deal with this, and I will now present my own.

DSDunlap's Border and Illegal Immigration Plan.

1) Seal and militarize border, with designated entry points manned by United States Marines backed up by a platoon of M-1A2s at each point. At all other places, the border shall have a fence built just on the US side of the border, with razor wire strung throughout the fence and on top of it. After that fence, the entire area back from the fence for about a mile is to be MINED with anti-personnel mines at the concentration of 1 per foot. After this, a wall is to be built with guard towers every 1/4 mile. Each tower shall have two guards assigned to it, each having an arc of fire of 180 degrees. This way, those who happen to get through the minefield and over the wall can still be gunned down.

2) Round up as many illegals as can be found. Do not deport them, but rather put them to work building a vast super-prison in far northern Alaska.

3) Scrap all plans for a "guest worker" program. Instead, tell Mexican and other Latin American governments that assisting their nationals in crossing the border illegally is an act of war and will be dealt with appropriately. Follow up, if the warning is ignored, by bombing one city in each offending nation to show that we mean business.

4) Deny visas to anyone from the aforementioned Latin American nations: Mexico, Honduras, Nicaragua, Colombia, Brazil, Venezuela, Bolivia, Peru, Ecuador, Suriname. Inform governments that all diplomatic ties will be broken if further attempts to violate U.S. Laws are supported by their governments.

5) Secretly prepare forces to seize all embassies and consulates of the aforementioned nations, to be enacted after all US diplomats in said nations are secretly removed. All documents seized are then to be thoroughly examined by the National Security Agency, Central Intelligence Agency, Department of Defense and the Federal Bureau of investigation. *of course, #5 isn't diplomatically nor politically correct, but that's life.*

6) All actions of Federal, State, and Local Government, with the exception of court sentencings, are to be done STRICTLY in English. Translators will be provided for questioning and sentence announcement purposes only.

7) All money transactions from the United States to Mexico and other nations will be immediately diverted to a special fund set up strictly for those American Citizens who are willing to take jobs that the Mexican President racistically, "Not even blacks will do..."

8.) All US forces in the border states and Gulf Coast are to be on full alert at all times from here on in.

9) Any U.S. Citizen found to be aiding illegals in defying the laws of the United States is to be arrested and tried for treason. Penalties for conviction will be either 25 years hard labor or death by hanging.

10) Any foreign national, legal or illegal, who commits a violent crime or engages in robbery *robbery is the act of stealing from another person in said person's presence, usually with a weapon present. This is not the same as theft, which entails stealth in stealing goods from others without their knowledge or presence* will be, upon conviction, sentenced to death. Execution methods are as follows: Robbery- Death by Hanging. Assault- Death by Firing Squad. Rape, Murder, Child Molestation/Murder, Terrorism, and/or Home invasion- Death by Crucifixion along the US-Mexican Border.